Who’s Life is it Anyway

The last few days, I have had a Talking Heads song in my head. You know the one, about life and not recognizing the stuff around you?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKlrkBJozuc

I think it’s because so much crazy stuff has been happening over here.

Not my usual, “dogs in the house-kidnapping neighbors-breaking and entering” crazy. A new kind, of course. I suppose, if it were the usual kind, it wouldn’t actually be crazy, it would be my usual life, which is sort of my point.

I don’t recognize any of this.

* My oldest 21. I’ve come to terms with that more or less. Don’t love it. Can live with it.

*My youngest is in first grade. Going well by the way. Didn’t love it. Definitely growing on me.

*My 18 yr old started college this week. Still working on this one. Not completely there yet.

*My husband started college this week. Have not started to wrap my head around this yet. Not even close.

And there are other things. Two kids trying out for one of Miss Kate’s plays. Those of you who know Miss Kate will feel for me here. If they don’t get in, I’ve got months of sadness from two kids. If they DO get in, well, you know Miss Kate. Her plays are spectacular, the kids love her. Getting to the end is…indescribable. And not in a totally good way.

We’re still working on garage remodel. That project is, well, sort of being worked on.

My washer broke down. Blair fixed it.

I recognized that one. We have the worst luck with major appliances.

What I don’t get is how you can feel like your life is a vastly different thing from month to month. One month, I was a stay at home mom doing a little daycare on the side. The next, kids are leaving home, husband is coming home, and the daycare is our income.

One month, you are coming to terms with everything and finally finding a groove. The next month husband is in Africa.

The next time I looked, or had time to look, everyone started school.

Then I start to wonder…Am I changing? Or is it just everyone around me? And, do I want to change? And, if so, why and how? And why am I 42 and trying to decide whether or not I like my life the way it is. Shouldn’t I have some idea by now??

Maybe I’ll just dye my hair, get a pedicure and call it good enough.

OK, throw in a purse and some shoes and we’re good:)

Pass me the earphones, I’ve got some Talking Heads to listen to.