Friends, Neighbors, Fellow Countrymen;
I have been watching the trail of woe, a.k.a. the presidential campaign. At first I thought it was kind of a joke and I snickered. Then, as things progressed and votes began to be counted, my eyebrows raised in concern. More speeches have been given, more debates held, and I have realized that I have been holding in a sort of silent scream that goes something like this:
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS DECENT AND GOOD, WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE DO SOMETHING TO STOP THAT VULGAR MAN FROM TAKING OVER THE PRESIDENCY OF MY BELOVED COUNTRY!!
I realized something needs to be done. Time for little old me to do my part. Because I like to write songs and I knew this one must be “the hilarious, witty, intelligent, patriotic and true anti-you-know-who song that would save America from making a terrible mistake,” I texted Maren for help.
(of course, I did, right? because she’s totally awesome and rocking and has the answer to ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.)
After a frenzy of texts, emails, and general hilarity, we came up with a nice little ditty for y’all. (that’s right, we went country).
Maren wasn’t with me to join in singing for the video (WHY OH WHY DON’T WE LIVE NEXT DOOR TO EACH OTHER), but I know she sang along with me in her heart and I hope you will, too. ♥
Lyrics for your sing along:
#VOTENOTOTHEHAIR
Verse 1
It’s 2016, the year of the vote,
and we’re all a part of the game
we’re wearing the shirts and watching the news,
the candidates are all pretty lame
One guy stands out and
I’m sure you’ll agree
we can’t look away from the scene-
the money, the hair, and the circus around
the guy who grew up in Queens
Chorus
So wake up America
and just vote no
to the guy with the terrible hair
vote no to short fingers,
to riches and lies,
Wake up and vote no to the hair!
Verse 2
He has no excuse,
No style, no views
but we don’t let that slow us down
we like a good show and this guy is a pip
He’s a rich and colorful clown
We must stand up and I’m sure you’ll agree
We can laugh all we want at the clown,
but he does not represent our American land,
this guy who is bringing us down.
Chorus
Verse 3
He’s rightist, he’s leftist, he’s building a wall,
He’s hoping we’re all dumb as bricks,
He hates us, he loves us, he’s suing us all
He’s up to his usual tricks
For 12 long years, he says the IRS
checked on him because he’s a Christian man
it makes me shake my head
and it makes me wonder if
he’s a few beans short of a can
Chorus
Verse 4
We’ve all stood for freedom with our hand on our hearts
Our memories full of the pride
that comes from being part
of the brightest and the best
We won’t trade it or set it aside
We must stand up and I’m sure you’ll agree
We can laugh all we want at the clown,
but he does not represent our American land,
this guy who is bringing us down.
Chorus
So wake up America
and just vote no
to the guy with the terrible hair
vote no to short fingers,
to riches and lies,
Wake up and vote no to the hair!
