The Power of Positive Thinking (or, Multiple Personality Disorder)

Last week I was in a foul mood. I didn’t have any specific reason, although, I hesitate to overthink it. I’ve been trying to be very positive. I read Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life and I feel like it really works. Recently, I read Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth, where he explains that we are all living in a state of unconciousness and we need to wake up and unload our egos. He says that negativity and related thoughts originate not with our ‘self’ but with our ‘ego’, which is not our actual ‘self’. We can access the true ‘self’ and render the ego powerless to harm us. ok, I get that. Then he said, that emotions are from past experiences and to get past a negative emotion, we need to experience the ‘suchness’ of the situation, acknowledge the emotion, look at the facts, and again, unload the ego. THEN I read two more books, The Attractor Factor and The Power of Positive Thinking.

I may need to stop.

Last night I was mad at Blair. Since this is a negative experience I don’t want to have, I had a little talk with myself,

“Self, don’t be mad,” thinks me. But then I remember, you are not supposed to stifle bad feelings, but acknowledge and release. ok, “Self, I realize you are mad at Blair. Now stop.”

“But he’s a pain,” I whine.  (My ego is very whiny)

 “He is not causing you actual pain, let’s look at the facts.”

My ego doesn’t want to look at facts. She wants to smack Blair. But we have a little fact finding mission anyway. Fact: Blair is just lying there, not doing anything. Fact: Blair said something you didn’t want to hear. (I’m not going to tell you what he said, because he reads this blog and IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT’S WRONG, I’M NOT TELLING YOU MISTER! oops! my ego got away from me. I dont’ think the facts are helping, maybe I need to attract what I need to me. ( me attracting: ‘Blair is doing what i want. Blair is doing what I want) Except that this could take days! I’m mad NOW. Oh! I know! I could use a positive thought….hmmmm….Ok, I have one.  “Blair is a good person and I love him very much.” True. “Blair is a good husband who sometimes says dumb stuff.” (not so positive, maybe one more) “I am a good person who enjoys positive thinking.” There, probably better to just leave Blair out of it til I calm down. Plus, now I have a different problem, which is, I’m wearing myself out with all of these conversations. I can’t keep track of everyone! I can’t even remember my kids names for Pete’s sake, let alone all the people apparently residing in me. Between my inner child, my ego, my true self, and the people I thought I was BEFORE I found out about the others, I can’t even worry about anyone else til I get this figured out….I’ll be back.

And Blair, one of us is still mad, But we all love you very much:)