There is a goblin living in our house. No, we haven’t been reading too many Harry Potter books. We have evidence.
First of all, we have heard shrieks that no normal human could produce. Goblin noises.
Secondly we have had maulings. My husband has been sitting peacefully in his chair, only to be attacked by some sort of unidentified creature. It runs too quickly to get a good description, but it leaves a trail of mucous, fingerprints, and bits of chewed food. (Sorry, it’s gross, but it’s true.)
The goblin bites the heads off unsuspecting markers.
Luckily, it hasn’t attempted to bite the heads off any actual family members. but it has left it’s mark on two of them.
Dear Readers and Likers,
We have evidence to suggest Carrie was overcome and abducted by goblins…and is therefore unable to finish this provocative ‘goblin expose’. We applaud her bravery and heroism in the face of home-based disaster. Hopefully, somehow, someday, she will eventually prevail against this wily goblin. Until then, Good Luck, sister. We’re pulling for you!
Sincerely,
Maren
