Half hour before dinner begins. I am in the kitchen trying to make rice and prepare vegetables. Miss 1 is holding my legs.
Miss 1: Applesauce! Applesauce!
Mommy: You have to wait for dinner.
Miss 1 runs to the table and climbs on a chair: Applesauce! Applesauce!
She has grabbed a bowl from the cupboard and bangs it on the table: Applesauce! Applesauce!
Mommy: Okay, baby, you want to be in a chair and have applesauce?
Mommy, thinking the rice is almost done and dinner is imminent, straps Miss 1 into her chair and proceeds to give her the bowl, a spoon, and a sippy cup.
Mommy: Okay, let’s tell your sisters it’s time for dinner.
Mommy proceeds to call everyone to the table for dinner. Daddy appears, accompanied by two girls. The third girl is called several times before she feels ready to make her entrance but finally appears. Food is on the table. Daddy begins dishing up. Conversation at this point cannot be transcribed due to the simultaneous talking, laughing, crying, and yelling. Imagine a general din.
The phone rings. Mommy tries to answer the phone, but cannot hear the person who called.
Mommy: Hello, Hello?
Beloved Sister: Hello?
Mommy: Hello, Hello?
Beloved Sister: Hello? Can you hear me?
Mommy: I can hear you now.
Beloved Sister: Begins to tell about something fabulous she made for dinner. (Disclaimer: Mommy is really and truly interested and wants to listen. Beloved Sister is in no way to be insulted by the shortness of yesterday’s call.)
Daddy is trying to silence everyone, dish up the food, and get the prayer done.
Mommy tells Beloved Sister that she is about to start dinner and says a hasty goodbye.
Miss 1 is heard in the background: No applesauce! No applesauce!
Mommy arrives at the table and asks Daddy if they have prayed. He nods and she sits down with the family.
Mommy is sitting across from Miss 6, who appears to be frowning down at her plate.
Mommy prompts her: You like this dinner. You ate it last time. Mommy gives a helpful smile.
Miss 6: But it’s gross this time.
Daddy: It’s the exact same thing.
Miss 7: Mmm, its good, see how I chew it.
Mommy: Stop that. You’re not helping. (Mommy knows Miss 6 will vehemently refuse advice from Miss 7 at all costs).
Miss 5: If I close my eyes and pretend it’s something else, I might actually be able to eat this.
Mommy: Open your eyes and take a bite.
Miss 1: No applesauce! No applesauce! She chucks her spoon and her glasses to the floor.
Mommy removes Miss 1’s bowl before she can throw that too.
Miss 1: Applesauce! Applesauce! (Shingle raising shrieking ensues).
Mommy hands the bowl back to her. She decides to leave the glasses off for the remainder of the meal.
Miss 5 frowns: I hate this food. Can I take one bite?
Mommy: Eat it all.
Miss 6: Begins to make an unpleasant whining noise and wriggles in her chair.
Miss 5: I need to go to the bathroom.
Daddy: Go ahead and go.
Miss 5 leaves. Mommy spots Miss 6 edging a microscopic crumb toward her mouth.
Mommy: That crumb is not a bite.
Miss 6 sighs and makes a louder whining noise.
Daddy: No crying at the table.
Miss 7: You want me to tell you a story about Mars?
Miss 5 re-enters: Can I take two bites?
She picks up her fork and proceeds to squish the food around her plate.
Miss 6 is now fully crying. Her food remains untouched.
Miss 1: Mine broccoli! Mine broccoli!
Mommy hands her a piece of broccoli.
Miss 1: No broccoli! No broccoli!
Daddy (to Miss 6): Did you take a bite?
Miss 6 continues crying.
Miss 7: What if the air on earth was pink? And we switched places with the aliens from Mars and they were blind. Do you want to hear what my teacher said today about sharks?
Mommy: (attempting bribery) If you don’t eat some bites, you won’t have a night-night treat.
Miss 6 gives a stubborn eyebrow furrow.
Mommy smiles, but she is nervous. If she loses the night-night treat bribe, Miss 6 may never eat again.
Daddy converses with Miss 7 about sharks.
Miss 5 finishes mashing her food: I took bites.
Mommy: No you didn’t, you only squished your food around.
Miss 7: I saw her taking bites! She took a big bite!
Miss 1: Applesauce! Applesauce!
Mommy hands her applesauce again.
Miss 1: No applesauce! No applesauce!
Miss 5: How about if I take 5 bites because I’m five.
Daddy: That sounds great.
Miss 6: I don’t care about night night treat. I’m done.
Miss 1: Mine broccoli! Mine broccoli!
Mommy hands her broccoli. Miss 1 throws it on the floor: No broccoli! No broccoli!
Mommy sighs.
Daddy: If you’re done, leave the table, but no night night treat.
Miss 6: I don’t care. I’m not hungry.
She leaves.
Miss 5: I ate all my bites. I want to eat everything in the universe. Can I have more?
Miss 1: Applesauce! Applesauce!
Miss7: Mommy, why do you have that look on your face? Why are you staring? Mommy, Mommy, you look like you’re daydreaming! Mommy, what’s wrong?
So funny…yet to oddly familiar 🙂 By the way the homemade noodles were delicious!
Really good material! I have already been hunting for something similar to this for some time now. Appreciation!