. . . about throwing up.
(Continue at your own peril. You have been warned.)
Three of my children are good pukers. One is NOT. You may be asking yourself, “What is a ‘good’ puker?” Simply put, someone who does NOT throw up where they are standing–a ‘good’ puker runs for the nearest receptacle; the bathroom, trash can, or anything, anywhere, that is not carpet!
This was made painfully clear to me last night. The events that took place were, to put it mildly, terrible and horrific. We attended the Blue and Gold Banquet (For those of you non-scouters, that is the birthday celebration of cub scouting). It was a potluck. There was a smorgasbord of things to eat–lasagna, spaghetti, chicken wings, bread, enchiladas, and lots (and lots!) of soda pop. Mr. 8 was thrilled to see so many choices. He kept trying to refill his plate and his cup. As a responsible mom, I was trying to let him have fun without letting him become a glutton.
Food was eaten, awards were presented–all seemed to be going well. I was helping clean up and talking to the Cubmaster. Then Mr 8 came up to me and said the dreaded phrase:
‘Mom, I am going to be sick”
Because Mr. 8 is NOT a good puker, he immediately did just that! Hurled! Right there in the hallway of the church! ON THE CARPET!!!!! Being such a good mom, I grabbed all 80 pounds of him and pretty much threw him into the nearest (girls) restroom while saying ‘NOT on the carpet!”
It gets worse….
Once in the bathroom, he spewed like a sprinkler. There was vomit on the floors and on the walls in a 180 degree arc, about 2 feet high! It was on the sink and the toilet paper holder.
Ironically enough, it was not on any part of the toilet.
It was on my shirt and my shoes. It was like Old Faithful had gone off in there. And not in a good, tourist, picture-taking kind of way!
I looked over at Mr. 8–he was almost completely free of barf (except one small spot on his shoe) and still clutching his balloon which was also remarkably puke free.
I ran out of the bathroom to get my sweet husband. Actually, first I tried to get a couple of people to get him for me. But they were all mesmerized, standing around, staring at the pool of ick on the carpet. Nobody would move.
Finally, I called for my hubby myself and he quickly came to the rescue with supplies to clean the carpet.
Unfortunately he has cleaned up vomit at the church a number of times and knows the drill. The man is a saint!
Many, many, many paper towels, rubber gloves and A LOT of disinfectant later, the mess was cleaned up. The carpet was scrubbed. The bathroom was wiped down.
All was well again.
Just for the record, nothing empties an event faster than someone tossing their cookies!
Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. My 1 and only girl is the bad puker and she’s always had long hair. ;(
My condolences.