“Too Many Kids”

We had some adventure over Labor Day.  Of course we did.  We left the house with our 5 kids.  How could we avoid adventure?

Our adventure happened in a McDonald’s when we stopped for dinner.  We decided we would go inside to order the food so all the kiddos could use the restroom.  

The little girls were all very well behaved and actually quite cute in the bathroom as they took turns washing up.  Then we left the bathroom.  Right away I could hear that Tiny Baby was having some kind of baby fit in her carseat.  She was crying her head off.  Since she’s little, and we weren’t going to be there very long (we planned to eat in the car) I decided to ignore her cries.  We got the food and Daddy went to get the girls’ drinks.  I was trying to wait for him to see if he would need help carrying the drinks. 

It was a tiny McDonald’s and after we’d stood there for awhile I realized I needed to get the girls out of there.  They were starting to mill around.  And touch things.  And Tiny Baby was still crying.    I opened the door and a couple of my girls swarmed out.  As I was on my way out, Miss 2 began emitting the brain altering shriek that only a very special 2 year-old such as herself can emit.  I tried the “mommy’s leaving, do you want to live in the McDonalds tactic” but that was a total failure and she threw herself to the ground and started writhing around in a tantrum.  I was holding the door with my leg, Tiny Baby’s carseat in one hand, and I reached back into the McD’s with my other hand and grabbed Miss 2 by the arm.  She flung off her glasses (like she always does when she’s in the middle of a fit.)  All the other girls were hopping around me, wondering why we were leaving the McD’s without our french fries.  Somehow I managed to retrieve the glasses, march everybody back to the van and buckle them into their respective seats.  Needless to say, I was just about as ticked off as Miss 2 was by the whole experience.

Little did I know that even though I had left the McD’s, the scene was still playing out.  Apparently as soon as I got my screaming-fit-throwing herd out the door a lady called out in a loud voice, “And that’s how you know when you have too many kids!”

Unfortunately for her, she didn’t realize she was talking right to my Dear Husband.  The father of the “too many kids.”  He was, shall we say, less than pleased.  He made a few remarks back to her and I think those remarks included the phrase, “shut your mouth” and a tirade about Social Security.  She was embarrassed (not that I feel bad for her, at all). 

 I am still stunned when I think of my mild mannered husband telling someone off like that in the McD’s but she had just insulted his wife and children, after all.  I guess she’s lucky she said it to him and not me.  I am not as eloquent.  I might have smacked her head off. 

Because that’s the kind of thing you do when you have “too many kids.”