The Hardware Store

I do not love the hardware store. Friday night, I was tricked into going there to “look at lighting”. Blair knows I do not love the hardware store, and was trying to bribe me with something I do love, home decorating. I knew it was a trap, but sometimes, ya gotta let em win.

The next day, we were out to breakfast, when Blair said, I need to stop at the hardware story to get the rest of the supplies to finish the shed. Here he has me in a tight spot…I do not love the hardware store, but I do love going to to breakfast, which we are doing. Also, I do want to get the shed finished.

So, we go to the hardware store, where Blair loads up a lot of roof shingles, some 12 ft long pieces of wood, a roof vent, and various other man-crapola. We didn’t see the roofing nails he was looking for, so, in the spirit of good-will and helpfulness, I set off to find them. I asked a guy and he led me to the 30 lb bucket of nails I wanted. Then, he stood there. I valiantly marched right over and hoisted those nails.

**A note here: I am wearing a light colored outfit, somewhat dressy, and very high heels**

I couldn’t help mentioning to the man: “Thanks! I’m going home to roof my shed!” He looked at me, then at my shoes. I said, in a somewhat snooty way, “I’m planning to change my shoes.” His eyebrows went up, and I marched away in my heels with my bucket o’ nails.

When I got to Blair, he was having a hard time believing that the salesperson did not offer to carry the nails, but laughed when I related the conversation.

We were ready to check out, but Blair wanted to use the restroom before we left. He suggested I check out, and when I did, not mention him.

I pushed our heavily laden cart (remember the shoes!) over to the checkout.

Cashier Girl: Is this everything? (she was looking around me, presumably for a more manly helper)

Me: Yup. Just needed a few things to finish my shed. Gotta get the roof on today.

CG:  (Looking at my shoes) Ok…..

Me: I’m planning to change my shoes!

CG: ok….

 CG: Um…aren’t you going to need some help out with that?

Me: Nope, I got it

She scanned everything and gave me the total. I paid. I began hauling my loot out the front doors of the store. An older man asked if he could help me.

Me: No, I got it.

I did not realize that the parking lot sloped slightly away from the front of the store but became immediately aware of this fact as the cart began to accelerate and I was forced to hurriedly trot after it (remember the shoes?)

I leaned back to slow the cart, and as I did this, noticed a middle aged Latino man ending a phone conversation to ask:

Do you need help?

Me: Nope, I’m parked right there! (pointing to vehicle a few spots out into the lot)

He looked to where I was pointing and then gave me a look that said he didn’t thing that where I parked was my problem.

Me: I’m roofing my shed. I’m planning to change my shoes.

Him: um…ok.

I did have an interesting time trying to get the cart to turn so it would be next to the van. A chivalrous soul in a Ford pick up asked:

“Do you need some help, ma’am?”

Me: Nope. My van’s right here. I’m doing fine. (I don’t trust Ford guys…now if he’d been driving a Dodge…)

Ford Guy: ok…..

Me: These shoes have a lot more traction than you’d think. I’m going to change them before I roof the shed.

Ford Guy: ok….

So, I’m thinking, where the heck is MY guy? The one who is actually going to load all this man-crap into the van. The shingle packs are waaaaaaay to heavy for me to lift and filthy. I can push a cart in this outfit, but I’m not touching anything dirty.

Finally, Blair came out, ready to load the van and take me home.

We went home, I changed my shoes (and pants and shirt) climbed up that ladder and roofed my shed! There were pics, but I looked fat in them, so I won’t be posting any. There were also witnesses.

The moral of this tale is that just because a girl likes her hot shoes, a nice manicure and good hair doesn’t mean she can’t change her shoes, put on gloves and do whatever the heck she wants!

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