The Company

I have long held the belief that my ‘self’ is not a sole proprietorship. I absolutely picture in my mind a large corporation, with many departments and tons of employees.
There are departments for everything that goes on in, and as part of, my mind and body. I have the digestive department, for example in charge of, of course, all things digestive, including, being hungry. Now, I don’t only eat when I’m hungry. I eat when I’m emotional, which means that the digestive department often works closely with the divisions in charge of PMS management, and Freaking Out.

Last week, many of my departments felt overworked, understaffed, and definitely underpaid. The Sleep department was especially upset.

Tuesday night, I spent the night, from 10pm to 2am, at our local children’s hospital (a very convenient hour long drive away) with Timothy who was having multiple seizures. The Sleep division received plenty of notice and was prepared, working congenially with Caffeine Management, and what I like to think of as the GO people. The night went as well as expected, and I was finally in bed at 3am Wednesday morning. At 6:30am, I got up to start my day, relying heavily on the GO team, Caffeine management, and Will Power.

Wednesday night, around 5pm, Sleep sent a memo. They were Done. GO sent a memo back. No problem, you’ll be in bed by 9pm…9:30 tops.

At 8:30pm, Rachel reminded me of her hacking cough and general malaise. Jessica chimed in with a sore throat. A call was made to our pediatrician’s after hours office and a hastily scribbled apology sent to Sleep, with a penciled-in bedtime of 10pm.

At 9:15pm the Dr on call informed us Rachel was having cold aggravated asthma symtoms, and would need a breathing treatment administered immediately. Jessica was pronounced strep free.

At 9:45pm the breathing treatment was over and two prescriptions for Rachel were handed over. I stated my intent to fill them in the morning.

At 9:46pm the Dr freaked out and strongly suggested I fill them at a nearby 24 hour pharmacy.

We drove to the pharmacy, which had a drive thru window, and handed over the prescriptions at 10pm. We were then informed that they were very busy and it would be 30 minutes before our meds would be ready. We would receive a text when they were ready.

Sleep sent a not-very-nice memo to GO. Go ignored the memo.

At 10:05, Rachel and Jessica had the idea of going to Wendy’s for Frosties.

At 10:15, Rachel, Jessica and I had small Frosties in hand.

Sleep was sending frantic messages to GO, full of bad words. GO was enjoying a Frosty and some Andy  Grammar.

At 10:25pm, we had finished our treats and had not recieved any texts from the pharmacy.

10:45pm. No texts. Sleep said a Very Bad Word. GO said one back.

10:55pm. I decide to go into the pharmacy and find out what the heck is going on.

11:00pm. The pharmacist, not the one who helped us previousy, informs me that our prescriptions are ready, and have BEEN ready for the last half hour. He asked, impatiently:

“Didn’t you get the text?”

Me:No.

Him: Yeah, it’s a pretty unreliable system.

Me: what?

Him: It doesn’t always work, you know, it’s supposed to send out texts, but it only works about half the time.

Now, normally, this is where I would have Freaked Out. But, that department was apparently unavailable. A call was made, but went unanswered. Calls were made to other departments, but, you realize, at 11pm with a pissed off Sleep department, there really weren’t a lot of options.

In my head, I heard:

You know, if we had gotten enough Sleep, we could really Freak Out here. But, truthfully, it’s not looking good.

I stared at the Pharmacist, who was apparently still talking. Something about paying.

11:10pm. Paid for prescriptions after completely misunderstanding the card reader 3 times in a row, and forgetting Rachel’s name.

Sleep was openly mocking us all.

11:30pm. Got home.

12:00pm. Went to bed.

The next night, Sleep put their collective feet down and shut down the building at 5:30pm.

No one moved until 7am Thursday.