Oy Vey! I am terrible tooth fairy. The worst. The absolute worst. Miss 6 has now lost a total of 8 teeth and I have never, ever remembered the tooth fairy on time. Every morning that little girl wakes up and looks under her pillow only to discover a big fat nothing.
To remedy the situation, Dear Husband and I have had to be inventive. We have snuck into her room and put bits of money in all kinds of creative places. We have lied our heads off to Miss 6.
“Your tooth fairy must still be in training. How funny that she left the money there in the middle of the day. . . .”
“Your tooth fairy must not have known you were at Grandma and Papa’s house. She must have had to travel all the way here from our house. I bet she’ll get here tomorrow.”
After slipping into Miss 6’s room during breakfast or lunch: “Are you sure the Tooth Fairy didn’t come? Go check again.”
The last tooth she lost has already been under her pillow for almost a week. I think she lost it at school Monday or Tuesday. . . . (the fact that I don’t even know, illustrates the sad state of affairs over here). This morning Miss 6 forgot to check for tooth fairy money but un-helpful Miss 5 informed her that she’d still gotten a big fat nothing. Poor Kid.
This time I am leaving an apology letter. I wrote a Christmas card from Miss Tooth Fairy apologizing for the tardiness and explaining that she has been very busy helping Santa. I know the tooth fairy is not an elf but trust me, Miss 6 will buy it. She thinks elves, fairies, and aliens all help Santa. Anything goes around here.
Now as long as Miss 5 hasn’t overheard me proofreading this aloud, Miss 2 doesn’t discover and eat/shred the card, Miss 8 doesn’t analyze Miss Tooth Fairy’s handwriting and reveal my identity, and Tiny Baby doesn’t spit up on it, Miss 6 should finally get her tooth reward!
The Tooth Fairy left a note for Veronica one time after having forgotten for 3 days in a row. I used some fun gel pens and wrote in super teeny-tiny print, but apparently that note was the tip-off, and all the other things fell into place for her too. So by trying to fix the tooth fairy blunder, I apparently blew all the big parenthood secrets at once! Hopefully your Miss 6 doesn’t catch on… I think Veronica was 7. I just wish parents would band together and hold a funeral for the tooth fairy. Because I hate her. And I want her to die. I would murder her if I could! 🙂
Oh man Laura! You’re hilarious. (and violent) : )
That’s too hilarious.
I just have to follow up- Miss 6 just found the note and she is ecstatic. When I put her to bed she said, “I just can’t stop thinking about the Tooth Fairy!” We have done a terrible job and she is such a little believer.
Give yourself a break. Tell the girls that from now on the tooth fairy has assigned you to take care of all correspondence and that they should put the tooth in an envelope and you will make sure it is delivered. Then let the old girl die a natural death.
My daughter-in-law and you must be related. She has forgot the last two times, only to inform me she has forgot and could I Please put something under her 7-year-old daughter’s pillow at the Sleepover? And guess what has happened? I mean, it’s not like I have six or seven (ages 11, 7, 6, 4, 3, 2, 1) kids running havoc at my house or anything. I’m a grandma for Pitty’s sake. But Papa always finds a way slipping the cash somewhere for her to find.