Beware! This post is long. But then again, so was my day. . .

The following is a true to life, play by play, description of my quest to get Miss 2 her new glasses.  When you’re done reading this, you may come to the conclusion that I am an idiot.  You may see a little of yourself in this and be too ashamed to admit it.  You may even pity me.  I hope you will laugh, and laugh, and laugh.  Like I will be doing after years and years of therapy. . . .

Day 1.  I leave the house for Miss 2’s appointment unaware that she will even need new glasses.  I am thinking I will visit the optical center that shares office space with the doctor just so they can fix Miss 2’s nose pieces. (She chews them off.  Repeatedly.)  I learn that the optical center has changed locations.  Rats.  She’ll have to keep wearing the chewed glasses a little longer.  When I receive the new prescription from the doctor, I tell her I’m going to Wal-mart to get the new glasses. (I’m trying to avoid the Cost of the optical center.)  She warns me that they won’t have a tiny enough size.  I foolishly, foolishly, shake off her warning.  (oh, the horror of 15/20 hindsight.)

Day 2.  I am too *?!!&#@$%&*!!  busy to worry about the glasses.

Day 3.  See Day 2.

Day 4.  I drop off Miss 5 at preschool and head to Wal-mart.  Naturally, as I had been warned/cursed, they do not have the right size.  But The Helpful Lady does recommend another place to try. She gives me some vague directions that I sort of understand.   Still thinking I am going to save money on this deal, I head out.  Twenty minutes later, I have driven past the described area where the place is supposed to be and I have found nothing.  I end up on the phone with a sister, (who doesn’t even live in my state!), crazily asking her to google map the address and describe what she sees.  She assures me I am in the area, but I realize it’s too late for today.  I’ve got to get back to preschool for Miss 5.  I’ll try again tomorrow.

Day 5 Part 1.  I wake up optimistic.  Today is the day.  I know right where to go and I am going to order the glasses for sure!  I drive to the place.  I find it this time!  I go inside without the kids to check it out.  It looks promising so I unload the van and head in.  They even have toys for Miss 5 to play with while I search through possible frames for Miss 2. Nirvana.  I actually pick out glasses and head to the back to fill out order forms with Helpful Lady #2.  Then I get the bad news.  Our insurance doesn’t actually cover glasses from this place.  Curses!!  Foiled Again!!

Day 5 Part 2.  I check my watch.  I decide to try to find the optical center that used to be at the eye doctor’s office.  It is now supposed to be located across the street from the Hospital.  I know where that is because I’ve had tons of baby doctor appointments there.  I am enthusiastic!  I drive and drive and realize I’ve passed it.  (Maybe it’s been longer than I think since I’ve been to this hospital.)  I should’ve recognized it, but no matter.  I will just turn around.  I drive by the hospital, scanning the street for the optical center sign.  I don’t spot it.  I turn around, again.  Miss 5 asks if we’re lost.  Miss 2 asks for food.  (lately she asks for food whenever we leave the house, but oddly will not touch food when we are in the house.)  On the 2nd ( or is it the 3rd?) drive by, I see the sign.  Great!  Now I’m heading the wrong direction, but it’ll just be a little matter of turning around and then I’ll drive right to it.  Okay.  I’m heading toward it.  I see the sign.  But I can’t see where I should turn in- OH NO! OH NO!  I do not want to turn around again!  AHH!!  Too late.  I missed it!  Around I go!  After a couple more turn arounds, I am determined.  I will turn in where ever I can and just hope the parking lots connect.  I turn in at a Taco Bell only to discover that they do not connect.  I seriously cannot find  a way into this optical center.  Is this really happening?  I pull out, thinking my turn is just ahead.  I think, I see, Could it be? NO-O-O-O-O!!!!  It’s not a turn-in!  IT’S THE FREAKIN’ ON-RAMP FOR THE FREEWAY!!

*At this point, I was coming unglued*

Day 5 Part 3.  As I cruise down the freeway, with my sanity blowing in the wind, I debate my options.  I could just bag it and try tomorrow but Miss 8 has ballet dress rehearsal tomorrow and the timing of all this could get tricky.  I don’t want to try tomorrow.  I have invested too much.  All that turning around cannot be in vain!  (I wave a mental fist in the air.)  I remember the eye doctor mentioning that the optical center has another office on “C” street.  I decide to call and try to nail down an address.  I speak to a nice receptionist who assures me that the optical center has indeed opened an office on “C” street- right by Hospital #2.  I hang up, wondering how I will get to “C” street because I don’t know exactly where it is.  Then I look up and see an Exit sign for “C” street coming right up!  This day is totally turning around.  I am filled with hope!  I amazingly drive right to Hospital #2.  I see the address the receptionist gave me.  I park the van, fill my stroller with kids and head inside.  Once inside I Actually Find The Optical Center!  And there is even a lady I recognize from the old office.  I am profoundly grateful.  We try glasses on Miss 2.  We order them.  I have not avoided Cost and I do not care one single bit.  I will never try to buy Miss 2’s glasses anywhere else.  Ever.  Well, at least not until her face grows.

Day 5 Part 4.   This ridiculous tale is not quite over.  I still need to get to the girl’s school on time and I have no idea how to get there from “C” Street.  I just start driving, with my eye on my compass and a prayer in my heart.  Before I know it, I ACTUALLY RECOGNIZE THE STREET I AM ON.  I look at the clock.  I have ten minutes to get to the school and I am ten minutes away.  I am going to make it to the school ON TIME.  It is a MIRACLE!!!  Tiny Baby and Miss 2 are asleep.  Miss 5 is happy we are not lost anymore.  I am happy this whole ordeal is practically behind me.  I will go home, have a Diet Coke, and stay away from my van for as long as I can.