My Double (triple, quadruple) Life

Do you ever feel like sometimes you’re leading some kind of crazy double life? Maybe it’s just me….

Maybe it’s just a multiple personality thing. Except, I’m the same person, just in different clothes, with different people, saying different things.

I have Daycare/Mom Maren. Dressed in jeans and t-shirts, baby on hip, surrounded by snacks, glue, bottles, and short people saying things like:

*Cheez-its go in your mouth, not her nose.*

and:

*He seems to like to put his head in dirt. Have you noticed that at home?*

I am Church Maren. Wearing a dress, carrying church luggage (books, lesson manual, scriptures, diaper bag) and trotting around the building saying things like:

*yes, I’ll substitute in Nursery again.”

and

*I’d be happy to say the prayer.*

I am Blogger Maren. At this moment, I’m attired similarly to Workout Maren, minus the footwear. I am hunched over my computer typing frantically before the doorbell rings or the phone rings, or someone poops. I am hoping like heck this turns out funny and secretly hoping this is the one that makes me famous and I get to meet Matt Lauer. And Kelly Ripa. I say things like:

*Does this sound funny to you?*

and

*How the H*(& to you even spell Hawaii???? ( btw, I think that may it….)*

I am Workout Maren. Sweats, big T-shirt, and running shoes covering my bod. Water bottle and earphones in hand. Up at the freaking crack of dawn to go run/elliptical/walk at the gym. I say things like:

*This (*&U^^$^*^( sucks!*

and

*(*&^&%&^%#$#!#$^&%$&%#!#&^*^^♣►-♪••♣♦•♣♠♦&*

(workout Maren has a sailor mouth)

Finally, we have one of my personal favorites:

Maren As Herself. This lovely girl is wearing heels (of course) and rocks a hip hair do. She’s got major big zebra print sunglasses and a super hot pink bag. She has a theme song, and a fun smile. Sometimes, she’s not totally by herself, but can be seen with a tall handsome guy she calls, babe. She says things like:

*hmmmm. I can’t decide between the black wedges, and the pink patent platforms.*

and

*I’ll have the salad, please, and could you bring me a diet Pepsi with a lime?*

Personal fave! I love that chick!

 

 

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