How to Say ‘NO’

This is a lesson on how to say ‘no’. Sometimes, you need to have this skill. Most of us women use the word regularly, but often we are stymied by certain situations in which we should have said ‘no’ but somehow were unable.

First, the basics. This is mostly for beginners. If you are concerned about your ability to say ‘no’ at all, you should read this. Say NO when:

*Your son wants some rope.

*Your daughter wants to buy a new swimsuit with her friends.

*Your child wants to use the electric razor.

* Your child wants skip school to stand in line for a Justin Beiber concert.

*Your daughter suddenly wants to go camping with ‘a friend’, after years of insisting that camping will ruin her life.

*Any request by any child that involves either fire, electricity, or a personal belonging to which you have become attached (for example, the cat, the car, or a sibling)

These are only guidelines, but have served me pretty well over the years. Basically, I have found that while I have no problems saying NO to my children, I have a great of trouble saying NO when it merely involves my children.

For example, when the Jr High School Drama teacher asks if you would mind making not only your daughter’s complicated costume(s) but also that of 6 other children. In my head I hear myself saying, “No way in H***”, but somehow, out of my mouth come the words, “Yes, of course, I’d love to!”  I’m worried about not being an involved parent, or a good parent. I may also be worried my daughter won’t get a part in the next play because I said “H***” to the Drama teacher.

Keeping in mind that I have 6 kids at home (remember Alex on a mission? He’s screwing up the whole ‘I-have-7-kids’ thing) a full daycare, 6 chickens, a cat and a husband. I have other stuff too. Seriously. But somehow I can’t stop those ‘Yes’s from popping out of my mouth.

Other fine examples of times to say ‘no’ when I have said “yes”.

*ALL THE FREAKING TIME*

I do like doing things for my kids. I like volunteering for and on behalf of my community. And, actually, sewing all those Color Guard costumes was fun and easy, if you don’t ask me what time I went to bed on Thurs…..

And I think a lot of people say ‘no’ for dumb reasons, like they just don’t feel like helping because it interferes with their tv watching, or bum-sitting time.  I like knowing that I have made a valuble contribution to a worthy organization, or function. Serving is a wonderful way to cheer yourself up (I mean after you are done hollering at your kids to keep their grubby hands off of the white material), and sets a fine example for your children of being part of a community (that is, before you forbid your child to join ONE MORE THING OR ELSE)

So, I guess I have no idea how to say “NO” if you’re not under 18 and trying to drive to Wyoming with 10 of your closest friends in my van. Do not ask me. I never say it unless I think you are 11 and trying to discover if chickens like being sprayed with the hose. They do not. NO.