The potty training is going pretty good. Although you wouldn’t know it to see this picture:
Yes, that is an apple. On the back of the potty. I can’t even begin to explain it.
So, over the weekend, I took a little break from potty training and went to a wedding reception. While I was there I had the grand opportunity to talk to a dear friend and catch up on our lives. She is a career woman (very successful too, I might add) and she recently had a baby. It felt really good to talk to her because I felt like we had a little more common ground because of the baby. (It was a girl, too! So there’s even more common ground.)
Our conversation was buzzing right along, right up to the point where she turned to me and said, in a rather serious tone, “So tell me, What are you focusing on right now?”
I felt myself start to stammer. That question opened a big void in my mind. In one second I wondered how to answer. Was I supposed to be getting a PhD, serving starving children around the world, and helping as room mother to all of my school age children, while writing the next great American novel, painting a masterpiece, and writing a song that will be sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and accompanied by the New York Philharmonic???????
I said, “I’m focusing on having a good summer with the girls. Zoo Day. Library Day. Swim Lessons.”
The whole thing left me wondering, why did I doubt the importance of what I am doing with my girls? I am building people. Five people of good character who will never be homeless and will someday be upstanding citizens. I am building lives.
Very valuable work.
So, why did I stammer?
I stammered because while I am focused on building lives, I am also very focused on dealing with apples on the back of the toilet and dirty diapers and daily, nitty gritty work that can be drudgery.
It is the stay at home mom dilemma, isn’t it? We organize our own days. We decide how much we should take on. We balance the great needs of our small children, with the needs of the larger world, and our inner selves.
My girls are still very little and are still right in the middle of really needing me. So what is the answer to her question? What is my focus? My focus simply put, is them.
Carrie,
There is an awesome book called I am a Mother by Jane Clayson. She was an anchor for Good Morning America. It is an inspiring book about the same thing you were asked by your friend. Its ok to say I am working on raising my beautiful children and stay home with them. And when asked “what do you do?” You can simply reply “I am a Mother!”
April
I’ll have to look for that book at the library. Honestly, I don’t usually have a problem with these questions anymore. I did when I was a new mom, but it’s been awhile. That’s why it took me by surprise!
Nice post!
Focusing on building good productive people for the next generation is a good focus. I’m amazed at how well my kids turned out, since there were many days I was not focused on them, but on me, myself and I. I needed those days to read a good book, get my degree or have a melt-down. But my kids, I hope, knew and know now, I try my darnest to put them first. So keep focused. You’re doing a good job and snotty women who ask that question deserve a trite reply like, “Men.”
Enjoyed this post!