Daycare Ain’t All It’s Cracked Up To Be

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…

Just kidding:)

Yesterday, a 4 yr old girl was in my care all day. She normally only attends once or twice a week for a couple of hours in the afternoons, so yesterday was a new experience for her, daycare-wise.

We had the following conversation approximately 15 minutes after she and her younger brother arrived.

She: So, am I in daycare now?

Me: Yes. Today you are in daycare.

She: So, when do we get the candy?

Me: (thinking…Candy? What candy?) We’re not having candy, but we’ll have a snack in about hour. Crackers and juice.

She: So, when are you going to take us somewhere?

Me: (what…?) Never.

She: Well, what am I supposed to even do all day in this daycare?

Me: Play?

She: I was afraid of this…

Afraid of this? What? I didn’t ask her what exactly she was afraid of, but I’m thinking she was the victim…perhaps not for the first time in her young life… of the expectation not living up to the reality.

Because that never happens…

I’ll bet her mom had been selling this day with quite a bit of fun sounding exaggerations. (Mom:Maybe she’ll have treats! She: Like Candy? Mom: Yes! Maybe!) Moms generally feel they have to make stuff sound funner ( I know, not a real word) than it really is, so we’ll want to do it.

Mom: Let’s go visit the dr! It’ll be so fun! Maybe he’ll give you a sticker! or a Candy! Yay! We love going to the dr!

Child: OK!

After getting 4 shots to the tush and a thorough going over by a guy they hardly know, you can guess the kid is thinking his mom is NUTS and possibly a compulsive liar. But what else do you do? Hmmm? Can you imagine the conversation in opposite?

Mom: Let’s go to the dr. It’ll be zero fun, especially after he pokes you everywhere, gags you with a stick and sticks 4 needles into your caboose. Get in the car.

Unlikely.

I admit to occasionally selling the fun factor, but I’m more likely to go with the following:

Mom: Want to go to Walmart with me?

Kid: Yes.

Mom: (after pulling into dr’s office parking lot) By the way, we’re stopping to ‘get your immunizations up to date’ (aka stab you in the keister 4 times).

Kid: What?

Later, after he/she realizes the true meaning of that phrase, I am safely on my way to Walmart, promising to buy a candy for the hole-y child.

So, here we are at daycare, with a 4 year old girl realizing that she is going to forced to play all day with children her own age,  eat snacks, drink juice, and possibly be subjected to some kind of appropriate preschool art project. And NO candy.

*shudder*

Poor baby.

(cue Maniacal laugh…)