Break A Leg!

Two of my kids are in the Junior High School play, Beauty and The Beast.

This is how it goes.

Jessica asks if she can try out. This is big because the plays mean a lot of work for our whole family…not just Jessica. I say “yes”.  I don’t always say yes. One year, I gave a daughter a large amount of money and permission to wear makeup 6 months ahead of schedule if she would not try out for the school’s production of Annie.

If you’ll recall, the Drama Teacher had a policy of having girls bring boys to try out with. (I had a minor, ok, Major, fit) This year, Jessica is pretty excited. Now that Dan is at the school, she has a built in boy. Turns out Dan wants to try out too.

Two kids in a play? Am I up for this? Costumes, money, rehearsals, rides, etc. Well, I can tell you, the slow down for me is the costumes. Those things kill me. Sure they look spectacular on stage, but at what cost?

This year I glued a hot pink mop cap to half a bleach bottle.

I dripped hot glue all over pvc pipe to look like candles and then ZIP TIED those ‘candles’ to a complicated “apron”.

I added ties to aprons, made mop caps, two corsages, masks, and shoe and neck bows.

I’ve bought tights, fake hair, and make up.

I’ve made trips to the thrift store for clothes that are supposed to look like peasants.

I’ve altered peasant thrift store clothes to fit my 12 year old boy.

My 12 year old was fitted for a tuxedo.

Seriously.

On Saturday, which was a long, cue to cue, semi-dress rehearsal, I got up at 7am to try to find dress bags. I can say with 98% assurity that there are NO DRESS BAGS left in this county. I made 10 trips to the jr high, 2 trips to the fabric store and 3 trips to the grocery store as we figured out costume details, like:

Turns out that a mop cap covering a bleach bottle with gluey pvc pipe ZIP TIED to it doesn’t want to stay on Jessica’s head, which already has a colorful clown wig on it, despite the ties. I had to add elastic. And sew the wig to the bottle covered cap.

Here’s an interesting thing you may not know:

They make clear duct tape.

I will pass on explaining why I needed that.

The pvc candles are also attached to her arms, by the way.

Tonight is Opening Night.

One thing about these plays is that they are Freaking Fantastic! Amazing! Spectacular!

When you see the final result, you almost forget that you’ve lost feeling in your back from sitting up all night hunched over the sewing machine and that your blisters have blisters from the hot glue gun.

When you see your children up on the stage, singing and dancing and looking fabulous in in the costumes you created, you almost forget that you are broke, and your van can drive to the jr high without you.

When the curtain drops and the applause is ringing in your ears and your kids are smiling and waving and you feel so proud of them you almost forget that you never liked Beauty and the Beast and that you learned the hard way that invisible elastic is good for NOTHING and that your daughter got clocked with a  flying flower pot in the second act during dress rehearsal…

Almost.

The day the play closes, your child comes home with the audition ‘packet’ for the next play.

And you black out.