Now that My Dear Husband and I have celebrated our anniversary, I can share this story. I didn’t want to give anything away beforehand, but now that it’s over and done, this must be told. (and laughed at because it was hilarious and horrible, all at the same time.)
My Dear Husband is a major book lover. bibliophile. book worm. So even though he bought himself the kayak for our anniversary, I wanted to have my own little present to give and I decided on a book.
Unfortunately, I procrastinated too long for Amazon to be practical so I had to drop in on Barnes & Noble. I was in a hurry, so even though there are no carts in that store, I decided against getting out my big ol’ double stroller. (it’s actually a pretty handy one, but I really wanted to be quick.) I knew that Miss 2 would be a problem, but I thought if I could just get in and out, it would be okay.
I packed up Tiny Baby in one arm, grabbed Miss 2’s little hand, and Miss 5 tagged along behind. Miss 5 commented that this store looked like a library. Immediately Miss 2 wanted to go to the ‘toys.’ (our library has puzzles and puppets and other fun things in their kiddo section.) I told her there were no toys and she started to get a little ticked off.
Then she spotted the stairs to the cafe. She wanted to go up the stairs. But the cafe is small and crowded and I didn’t want to drag my herd of kids through, so I said no. When she realized no cafe stairs were going to be climbed, she decided not to walk at all. No problem. I didn’t miss a beat, just kept holding her hand and she dangled along beside me. I grabbed the book I had chosen and we were still on track.
As we approached the checkout line, for some reason she started to back away, and resist. I started dragging her again. I spotted another little girl who was hiding calmly under a table and pointed her out to Miss 2. ‘Look, she’s playing peek a boo with you.’
Miss 2 broke free and darted under a table of her own. I retrieved her without too much fuss and got back in line for checkout. I could see that the checker we were heading to was about to leave, but thankfully, when his supervisor saw me coming she said, ‘help her first.”
Miss 2 was still trying to get away so I pinned her between my knees and started fishing through my purse for my wallet. (I was still holding Tiny in my other arm.) The checker started to ask about memberships and discount cards, but I said, “I’ve just got to get her out of here.”
He was wonderful. super fast. very helpful. But no amount of help could really save me from Miss 2.
As we turned to leave, there was one moment when I was switching her from being pinned between my legs back to hand holding, when she realized she was free and made a break for it. She was heading under another table and I leaned down to grab her.
Now take a moment and picture this.
In one hand I had Tiny Baby, my wallet, and the book. My purse was in the other hand. I leapt, lunged, charged after Miss 2. I fell to the ground on one knee, half dropped my purse, grabbed her by the arm, somehow righted myself, and FLED. (minus my dignity.)
Tiny Baby is really brave, she didn’t even whimper during all of this.
Miss 5 was still happily following along behind.
There was an older gentleman watching us with his mouth hanging open.
On my way out of the store, I actually started to laugh (which wasn’t smart because it makes you weak) and had to pull myself together.
We made it back to the car alive, with only minor injuries. I gave the book to My Dear Husband. I hope he likes it.
I would pay good money to see the Barnes & Nobles security tape footage of this little incident. I really would!
