In childcare, conversation often becomes very unusual. Here are a few of the things exiting my mouth this past week.
1. But why was her foot in your mouth?
2. Do not shoot her with that nugget.
3. Touch that baby and die.
4. Stop telling him his skin is falling off.
5. No more Uptown Funk. Not until you can speak English.
6. Did you LICK that?
7. Get out of the sink.
8. She asked you not to drive the cheese on her head. Listen to her words.
9. Everything in my shirt is mine, you cannot see it.
10. Why is there a flag in his diaper?
11. Please come out from under my skirt.
12. You have a very beautiful elbow.
13. No elephants in the bathroom, no laughing in the bathroom. You’re scaring me.
14. We need to take all the cars out of your pants before you go home.
15. You are all grounded from saying duck.
16. If she wants to take the dinosaur to Las Vegas, she can. She is in charge of her own purse.
17. The kids are in Vegas, they said they’ll be back for lunch.
18. He’s TWO. He doesn’t know where your fish is.
19. If she wants to wear her sock on her hand, then she can. It ‘s her sock. She can wear it however she wants.
20. Ketchup is NOT like lipstick.
21. Eat your spaghetti like a person.
22. This is not the Poop show, go play!
23. Yes I do want those twins outside. I want them outside with all my heart, with ever fiber of my being. With all the want in the world, I want those twins outside.
24. From now on, we’re just going to say he’s a CAT. No more saying ‘kitty’ until you learn to pronounce ‘k’s.
25. Yes the rug is screwed.
26. No more hookers at snack. Eat your toast.
